Magnet
by aphelion-orion
Summary: All those jokes about Ky being pure enough to attract unicorns? There was something to them, after all. -humor, Alternate Timeline, Sin, mentions of Sol/Ky-


**Title:** Magnet**  
Fandom:** Guilty Gear  
**Pairing/Characters:** Sol/Ky, Sin  
**Rating:** G  
**Warnings:** Universe where things make sense (aka a non-Overture-compliant alternate timeline), and pretty much unrepentant crack.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

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**Magnet**

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"Um."

There should have been something to say to this, something helpful or intelligent, but Sin had never been a master of situational analysis.

"Um. Mom? You okay?"

It was kind of hard to see anything for the sheer number of bodies clustering together, pressing eagerly forward. Their carapaces were glinting in the sun, a blinding show of light on metal, razor-sharp spinal protrusions swaying softly in the wind.

"…For a measure of 'okay'," came the answer from somewhere near the far end. "This is bizarre."

"Erm, if you need any help, I could—" Sin offered, raising the flag to indicate his position, but not sure how to actually scatter them without destroying anything important. Or sending them charging towards the group of frightened townspeople somewhere beyond Ky and the mass of Gears.

"No. No, I'm fine. At least… at least they aren't attacking. I…" Ky hesitated. "Where's your father?"

"Went chasing after the alpha. It looked pretty mad."

"Lovely."

Sin turned, casting his eyes about for any more of the telltale sparkles, the creatures awfully easy to spot in broad daylight. A big cloud of dust was whirling towards them from the forest, and he was pretty sure he could see some angry rainbow blasts from within.

"I think… they're turning around. Yeah, okay, they're definitely turning around."

"Oh, wonderful. Tell me he isn't heading this way."

"Actually…"

Actually, the cloud of dust was already halfway down the main street, a misdirected gunflame burning some flower troughs to a crisp and causing the alpha to dodge right into the ornamental fountain.

"What was that?"

"Um, nothing much."

"I heard something break and it was big. What was that," Ky demanded, a shiver of unrest running through the herd at the sharpness in his tone.

"Just the plaza, mom," Sin said, figuring he might as well tell the truth now and save himself from getting in trouble. No sense in trying to cover for the old man, when his mom would see the damage done later on, anyway. Though, considering the herd, that would probably not be happening any time soon.

"Oh, for the love of— Tell him to stop trying to kill it already! I'm not sure if I can hold them off otherwise."

The alpha was struggling back up, shaking off the debris and dodging out of the way of a good punch, horn clashing against sword. Neighing, the creature pressed forward, magic fire gathering at its mouth for another blast.

"Hey! Pa!"

The blast missed, a barn erupting in a rainbow explosion.

"The fuck do you want?!" Sol yelled, rolling out of a hay stack and giving chase again, the alpha once more taking off down the main street.

"Mom says to stop destroying the town and help!" Sin called, wisely flipping onto a second story balcony as the alpha thundered past. A graceful half-turn brought the whiplash tail around, sending Sol careening into a wall. "We… kinda rounded up the rest."

"We?" came the sarcastic query, the herd still perfectly motionless and taking no notice of their leader's plight.

Sol managed to peel himself off the brick wall, leaving a sizeable indentation, and cast a skeptical glance up at him. "What do you mean you rounded—"

Sin just waved his arm.

"Oh, hell."

The alpha slid to a stop near the cluster of Gears, its eyes turning from infuriated red to yellow as it scented the air.

"Did he stop? Please tell me he stopped," Ky's voice floated towards them. "Oh, hey. Easy there."

The herd shifted as the alpha advanced, shoving its way through to the center.

"What the hell is going on here," Sol said.

"That's what I'd like to know. At the moment, they seem to resent me for not having enough hands," Ky said, and from what Sin was able to make out in the midst of the flashing sea of razor manes, it looked like whatever had come over the rest of the Gears was also working on their leader, if the way it was shoving its muzzle into Ky's palms was any indication.

"Are you—"

"Petting them, yes. I really don't want to find out what happens if I stop. Is there something in the water, here? This can't be their natural behaviour."

"You having anything smelly on you?" Sol suggested, clearly just as stumped. "Sugar cubes? Treats? They basically _are_ just big horses."

"No. They seem to like me an awful lot, though."

"Well, technically…" Sin said, scratching his neck with the flagpole, "…wouldn't they be unicorns?"

"What?"

"I'm just saying. They have horns, so isn't it wrong to call them horses?"

There was a moment of dead silence as Sol stared at the congregation, before breaking into uproarious laughter.

Sin blinked, bewildered at how a perfectly valid assessment would merit such an outburst of hilarity—and from his old man, no less—but clearly, the reaction wasn't at all confusing to his mother. "This is not funny."

More guffawing.

"It isn't!"

"Oh yes, yes it is. You—getting surrounded—by fucking _unicorns_."

"Sol…"

"And you aren't even a virgin."

"_Sol_!"

"Urgh, TMI," Sin groaned, noting that the herd was getting increasingly displeased with the noisy thing that was making their favorite source of pats unhappy, a few pairs of eyes shifting from yellow to a faint orange.

"You might want to stop making me mad," Ky said stiffly. "They seem to like that even less."

"_Hah_. Getting your virtue defended by an army of unicorns. That is so fitting."

A few eyes began to flare red.

"Could you stop laughing at me before they decide that tearing this place down is preferable to chewing on my hair?"

"Fine, fine," Sol muttered. "Let's see... I take it the brat does nothing?"

"…Actually," Ky said, "They went straight past him."

"Hah. Figures."

"Oi. I just don't like Gear spit in my hair, thank you," Sin called, wondering what in the blazes he had to do with unicorns and why his parents deemed his lack of petting-attractiveness not the least bit surprising.

"Well," Sol surmised. "How about you just try steering them out of town? If they're willing to neuter me in your name, they should be willing to accompany you to the exit."

"I fail to see how this would get them to stay away from me, though. I can't have a herd of affection-starved Gears following me wherever I go. I've got my hands full just dealing with both of you."

"Oh, I imagine the call of the wild will be stronger than the vibes of your goodness and purity," Sol shrugged. "They'll get hungry sooner or later."

"Sooner or later?" Ky asked, but did as he was told, taking a slow step back.

The herd parted to allow him through, but followed close behind, craning their necks after his outstretched hands. They were completely ignoring the two men trailing after them, just as they were unmindful of the group of terrified townsfolk scuttling out of the way.

Once they reached the bridge leading out of town, though, the Gears seemed to become considerably more interested in the rolling fields. Ky stepped out of the way, still not quite able to believe what was happening as they trotted past, some of them giving his shoulder a parting shove, their deadly horns mere inches from his collar.

"How's your dignity holding up?" Sol asked, smirk firmly in place.

"I'm sure you will take every opportunity to remind me of this, so I'll refrain from answering," Ky replied, drawing a breath as the last of the creatures passed him by.

"There's got to be a scientific explanation, but come on. You can't tell me this isn't hilariously appropriate."

"Um, guys?" Sin ventured from the back, trying in vain to escape the attentions bestowed upon his head. "A little help here?"

"Well, will you look at that," Sol said, his smirk widening into a full-blown grin as he turned to regard Sin's predicament. "A decadent unicorn."

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- Fin -

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**A/N:** There is no refund for broken brains. XD C&C is welcome.

- It just seems like such a wasted opportunity not to let these three have insane Gear-hunting adventures.  
- As if Sol wouldn't do everything to get Sin to call Ky "mom", just to make him mad.


End file.
